sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
