I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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