What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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