He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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