Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
