Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
