are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
