Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and she was petting her beer can
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
