Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
