So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
