Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The uberlube is also flammable
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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