He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
