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you would pick up someone in the library
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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