my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
