Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
