Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
