Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
