after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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