My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
