I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have aggressive nipples.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
