dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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