All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
