even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
