i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
