covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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