am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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