Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
