i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
honey bunches of taint.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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