There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
