no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
