My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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