Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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