Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
