i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
