how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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