Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
