My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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