Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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