can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
