You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
