You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
