: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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