she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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