Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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