I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
