And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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