just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
