I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
