dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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