I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
