seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
