I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
